Is Your Boss a Zombie? (Probably, and Here’s How to Tell)
We get it. You’ve had your suspicions for a while now. Maybe it’s the glassy stare during your status updates or the way they always seem to appear behind you silently, as if gliding down the hall. Whatever the signs, it’s time to finally face the facts: your boss might be a zombie. And no, we’re not talking about just being a little emotionally unavailable or caffeine-dependent. We mean full-on, undead, possibly brain-craving, office-lurking zombie. Here are five dead giveaways.
#1 No Concept of Time
They expect you to work late into the night… because they don’t need sleep, but you do. It’s like they’re powered by some ancient, cursed force – or just a steady stream of cold brew and pessimism.
#2 Dead Inside?
Zero emotions. No joy. No anger. Just a blank, soulless expression… unless you forgot to clock out on time. Then suddenly, they become a bit too animated, like a Halloween decoration that’s been triggered by a loud noise.
#3 Dandruff Disaster
Every time they scratch their head, it looks like a blizzard just hit your desk. You’re pretty sure they’ve got more flakes than the breakroom’s crusty, 3-month-old croissant. If your desk is starting to look like the set of Frozen every time they walk by, it might be time to leave a subtle hint – like a strategically placed bottle of Dandruff Destroyer (link in bio).
#4 A Hunger for Pointless Meetings
They call you into meetings that could have been emails – or better yet, silent head nods. They drone on, making the same points repeatedly as if their brain is buffering… or decomposing.
#5 Can’t Be Reasoned With
You present logical, well-researched ideas. They grunt and reject them without explanation, staring blankly as if your PowerPoint slides are nothing but a series of meaningless hieroglyphs.
Don’t Let Your Boss’s Flakes Become Your Problem
While zombies still have autonomy of choice (and we can’t control your boss’s behavior), we can offer you a way to fight their flakes. Enter Dandruff Destroyer – the antidote for scalp snowstorms. It’s hypoallergenic, free from the harsh chemicals that might make a zombie’s scalp peel right off, and packed with ingredients like aloe vera, argan oil, and coconut oil to keep you flake-free. Click here to learn more.